Reflections of a Therapist During the Holiday Season

The holiday season always brings a deep sense of gratitude for the work I do and the people I have the privilege to support. As the year winds down, it’s a natural time for reflection, and I find myself thinking about the unique and meaningful moments I share with my clients. I am continually honored to be a safe and trusted space where individuals can let down their guards, be their authentic selves, and navigate the complex process of looking inward. Through this work, I learn and grow alongside them, and I am endlessly grateful for the opportunity to be part of their journey. This time of year, certain themes often emerge in our conversations, and my hope in sharing these reflections is to normalize these experiences, helping others feel seen, validated, and less alone during what can be an emotionally complicated season.

As the holidays approach, I often see my clients wrestling with a mix of emotions. This season has a way of magnifying both life’s joys and challenges, bringing moments of connection alongside reminders of what feels unresolved. The weight of expectations to embody cheer and joy can sometimes leave people feeling out of sync with the season’s demands.

For some, the holidays mark the first season after losing a loved one, leaving them searching for moments of reprieve from the sadness that the season’s reminders bring. Others navigate the ebb and flow of emotions tied to longstanding grief, as familiar traditions resurface bittersweet memories. Grief can also take unexpected forms—grieving major life changes, like the first holiday after a divorce or a move to a new city, or mourning what never was, such as a childhood missing the warmth and tradition so many cherish during this time of year. In these moments, many find themselves wondering if the holidays will ever bring the joy they long for.

The holidays can be especially heavy for those feeling a sense of disconnection in their relationships. The contrast between the idealized images of togetherness and the reality of feeling distant from a parent, sibling, or a spouse can make this time feel heavier. For some, it might feel like moving through the motions of the season—decorating, gifting, and celebrating—while quietly dismissing resentment, unmet expectations, or a longing for deeper emotional closeness. The familiar patterns that surface during holiday interactions can leave many feeling overwhelmed, triggered, and deepening a sense of disconnection and loneliness.

The holiday season often carries an undercurrent of pressure. Perfectionism, cloaked in caregiving, selflessness, and the desire to bring joy to others, can take a toll on mental well-being. The weight of the "shoulds" can feel especially heavy—I should attend this event, or they might think I don’t care; I should make this dish because it’s what everyone expects. Many find themselves prioritizing the comfort of others above their own, tidying every corner of the house to feel accepted by in-laws, stretching finances to find the perfect gift, or hosting a flawless holiday dinner to recapture a sense of worth. These expectations, whether spoken or unspoken, can sit in the background, shaping the season in ways that often go unnoticed.

This time of year has a way of bringing so much to the surface. If you see yourself in any of this, it doesn’t mean you’re a Scrooge or a Grinch, or any other misunderstood holiday character. It simply means you’re human. Emotions don’t follow a calendar, and we don’t always get to choose when or how they appear. What we can do is learn how to sit with them, navigate through them, and care for ourselves better in the process.

As much as the holidays can amplify struggles, they also illuminate moments of deep meaning and connection. I’m privileged to witness the people I work with finding joy in ways that are unique to this time of year: the sheer excitement of seeing family and friends after months or years apart; the delight of children’s laughter during a weekend of holiday lights, cookie baking, and storytelling; the comfort and meaning found in shared traditions—whether it’s decorating a tree or hosting a holiday dinner; and the gratitude people feel when they pause to reflect on the relationships and moments that truly matter. These moments remind me of the resilience of the human spirit. Even amidst challenges, there’s often an undercurrent of hope and connection.

The holidays, like life, are a blend of light and dark. They can be a time of profound joy and also deep struggle. As a therapist, I’m grateful to walk with my clients through both. I’m honored to witness their challenges and their bright moments and to remind them that no matter where they find themselves during this season, they’re not alone.

To whoever is reading this and made it to the end, I hope this holiday season brings you an opportunity to find meaning—whether it be in moments of joy, the lessons within the struggles, or the quiet in-between. May you give yourself permission to feel what’s present, to honor your own needs, and to embrace the all that comes with this time of year. Wishing you peace, comfort, and connection this holiday season.